Friday, January 27, 2006

Late at night, when the demons come...

It's nights like tonight where I want to scream or maybe even cry. I went to the doctor yesterday and have fluid in my left ear. Now I didn't think this happened to anyone over the age of 4 - but obviously I'm wrong. So tack one more physical ailment in the past year and we're up to like 5 or 6. Which would be par for my brother, but not me.

Where this leaves me is in a nice little dark ditch where I feel like I'm going to stay for a while. Just about all of my forms of stress relief have been taken away from me and I'm screaming (inside) to let it all out. I guess this is the point of today's entry. I've actually been thinking of doing an anonymous blog so I can talk about all the shit going on without anyone knowing that it's Frank Manzo or DJ Frank Manzo. Since if you do a google search for either, this blog will appear, along with the stats of a same-named race car driver from NJ.

So what do I do to relieve stress on my own? Well #1 and the best one - DJing. Now it can be stressful, but it's usually a lot of fun. I'm been laid off from the Waterloo again, which is both a blessing and a curse. Blessing because it's boring as hell and can't deal with the regulars that want to hear reggaeton for 2 hours. Curse - I can use the money and there are some nights where I can have fun playing some really good music. I'm looking so forward to Pure on Feb 10 it's unreal. I'm also looking forward to stress reliever #2 - Vacation - that same weekend. Now a weekend in Philly, isn't exactly paradise, but it will be nice to be away from home, in a hotel, and actually share the weekend with a good group of friends and of course the woman. 4 of which are linked on the side there. So I assure you that Feb 10 will be a great night and I will stop at nothing to assure that the crowd leaves in a frenzy! At least, thats how I hope it ends.

#2 - Vacations haven't happened much lately - since Belize in 2004 for Sarah and I. It's LONG overdue and hopefully we can get away before we really get away for the honeymoon.

#3 - The gym and physical activity. Now I alluded to a physical ailment a few posts back, this has prevented me from going to the gym or any kind of exercise since November 14th. Well, except for Gay Ski Weekend. I was weighed yesterday at the doctors office at 178 lbs. Granted I was wearing a sweater and heavy pants (I usually do that in shorts and a t-shirt). I almost shit (which probably would've dropped me a pound or 2), since about 2 years ago when I was almost 180 I decided that was it! Off to the gym I went and at my peak was down to 157lbs. Far from skinny, but good enough to eat the way I wanted, feel and look good. So I'm feeling generally bad about this and myself, since I was doing quite well. So I just decide that eating chocolate (something I've done everyday since Thanksgiving - someone call Guiness) is a good idea, after lunch, maybe around 3pm and then obviously after dinner. Sometimes even before it. I mean I love the stuff, but being unable to do anything physical as really lowered my standard for what is good for me. It's very much a "well what the hell - I can't eat this shit when I'm healthy" feeling. Cue What I Craved last Thursday night.

-side note - James Anthony just calls to tell me my Sirius mixshow is on. It is 11:15pm and Frank is now happy for the 2nd time today. First time was when Sarah gave me these as a suprise. More junk food.

Anyways -# 4 and 5 are other stress relievers that a bit more private. Ones you engage in by yourself (#4), or with a partner (#5). Well if you're lucky, there's 3 of you (# in my dreams). One friend yesterday was appauled and said he could never do that for even a day, and that a typical day is around 3 private moments with himself. Another friend simply shouted in a recent car trip "SINCE NOVEMBER." Believe me it's been frustrating, and I haven't been abiding by Dr's orderers totally. Let's be reasonable here. See this for reference

So I hope after my doctor appointment on Monday, I will be able to keep the tradition of going on the Annual Super Bowl Sunday Ski Trip to PA.

So I will use this blog to bitch and complain and spill my life out onto the internet in hopes that it will not come and bit me in the ass. And hopefully the play will provide the non-physical, non-sexual, non-vacation, non-musical stress relief and fun I need to get me through till I can get back to life as I knew it.

I leave you with this from "In the Line of Fire" -

Mitch Leary: What did happen to you that day? Only one agent reacted to the gunfire, and you were closer to Kennedy than he was. You must have looked up at the window of the Texas Book Depository, but you didn't react. Late at night, when the demons come, do you see the rifle coming out of that window, or do you see Kennedy's head being blown apart? If you'd reacted to that first shot, could you have gotten there in time to stop the big bullet? And if you had - that could've been your head being blown apart. Do you wish you'd succeeded, Frank? Or is life too precious?

Tonight, life is just too precious.


Thursday, January 26, 2006


Ok I'm not a big PETA lover or anything - but when this comes across my eyes. I had to pass it on. Click here for video
Now I don't know how I feel that PETA wants you to spam people in order to win a fucking Ipod, but after watching the video - spam just isn't a good word. Do NOT view within 30mins before or after eating anything that has ever taken a breath.

As if i didn't already feel like shit - I watch this and now I'm also disturbed.

Need to attempt sleeping - although that hasn't been working lately.


Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Scene 1

So tonight was the rehearsal and I didn't know what to expect. For all I knew tonight we were going to be drilled on our lines while getting initiated by the boy scouts that are in the hall before we are. Fortunately, the boy scouts only had pine races on their minds and there was no initiation.

It was relatively painless and I was told that I did a good job, despite reading a few words wrong and stumbling a few lines. Although everyone screwed up at some point. I was just the first to do it. I definitely feel wierd, as everyone else is a "theatre person" and I'm just someone that likes a good play every so often, the occacional musical and a good show from time to time. So I know nothing about what is supposed to happen.

Donna told me I couldn't be any worse than the Philip in the production at BSC, which is a backward compliment. Much like the pep talk we got from a bleeding Karen. Sounds like there was a low audition turnout, but she's very happy with the cast. And so am I!! The 2 leads are actually dating - which is kinda cool. Also means they should be able to practice a lot more than the rest of us. It also means that scene 3 may be a little more realistic than the Grandparents in the front may be able to handle.

This play is not um - clean. My character yells "Penis" within the 1st 15 mins and "Fuck" is also a favorite of Philip. Unfortunately, I don't get to drop the one and only use of the C-Bomb in the show.

Well, in case you are wondering about what the C-Bomb is - its when our next rehearsal is... C U Next Tuesday.

I'm off to bed - in order to wake up for what hopes to be a great meeting in the city, but I'm more of a skeptic. The first one made me feel like I was at a Black Panters meeting, and the following one was a debriefing of that meeting. Nothing like a debfiefing 6 months later, what are we the ACS / DYFS?

Well, in case you are wondering about what the C-Bomb is - its when our next rehearsal is... C U Next Tuesday.


Monday, January 23, 2006

Secretions, Secretions are no fun - I mean Secrets!

Well there's a few things that have been kept under wraps lately - that are going to be blown out of the water. See I know most of you reading this are well aware of what's going on - but I'll put it here for your amusement and to kill just a few more moments of your day and deter you from going to

Secret #1 - I'm really a woman. Ok joking. I'm not a woman. However, my health at the current time is in limbo as I'm having physical issue number 128 since last years superbowl. Need details? E-mail - I'll explain - it involves an attractive girl and and uncomfortable position; among several other doctor visits and such. The story is both funny and alarming. Feel free to call me, then sit down and laugh out loud.

Secret #2 - I have a Sirius mixshow - its done - go to to download the set and give it a listen. I will post when it will air for those of you that have Sirius and can listen. Although I believe out here on the east coast - its would air between 9am-10am and 9pm-10pm. Odd times I will say. It's very very mainstream, but its a fun mix.

Secret #3 - In high school I was involved in the student run musical knows as SING. Which we won (twice, kinda). He was the director and he was in the chorus (1 of 4 guys). I became the backstage director, mainly due to my amazing building skills (or great help). Since my stage fright could be more anxiety provoking than having to eat a mayonnaise sandwich at 100 ft (that would be torture) I always opted to be behind the scenes and almost shit myself when after we won our senior year and I was hoisted up by the backstage crew to see a full crowd of people looking at me.

Now since those days - I have gotten better. DJing has lowered stage fright exponentially, I've also had to do lots of other public speaking things, role plays, presentations and ran counseling groups. So I decided to take the advice that someone gave me in a counseling course about 4 years ago and pursue acting.

Karen is directing "The Shape Of Things" and I figured it would be fun to audition. I thought - well Karen is directing so it's a bit less pressure to try out and I maybe could give me a tip or two. It's also at the Radburn Players which doesn't get a huge crowd to some of their shows. Although their last production of "Man of LaMancha" was a HUGE success and I will say a great great production. Honestly, their productions have become better over the few years we've been going to see Karen in them (even those where Karen is in her underwear or gets felt up). So last Monday, I detoured away from some traffic and hit speeds upwards of 80mph on the NJ Turnpike in order to make it to the audition about 15 mins late. With that said I read for both parts and ended up getting the supporting role of Phillip. Fortunately I do not have to kiss anyone as the main character does, which obviously was a controversial subject that was avoided.

So for those of you that would like to see my acting debut and prefacing panic attacks come here

So I'm working on this next week's Sirius mixshow that will be more trancey and will air on Area 33. I haven't DJed trance in a long time, so this will be interesting and fun.

And for some real tribal house fun - Pure in Philly on Friday Feb 10. It's a 1/2 post party for the Gay Men's Chorus and 1/2 a "Best of Billy Carroll Presents Month." It will be me - doing what I do best - which is having a lot of fun and playing some great music. Lots of people coming down for the event - which always makes it better!

So there you go - all my secretions... I mean secrets. I need to sleep.


Monday, January 16, 2006


Not an exciting news day really...Just a keep me busy because lying is bed appears to be bad for my mental health at the moment.

I walked into the mall today to and my cousin was working at Express. Those of you that a) frequent the SI Mall and b) know my cousin - understand this is not an uncommon event. However, after I said hi, she said "I still owe you money" which I actually had forgotten about. So I think it would be a good day if more people said that to me. Here's a list of people that owe me money and how overdue it is.

Jarod R - $100 - the balance of a DJ job from FUCKING JULY!!!!
Chris V - $100 - the balance of a DJ job from last night
Danny M - $600? - the balance of his lifestyle for the last 5 years or so

I think thats about it. Which is good. Anymore and I might need to hire "the man" to start knocking on doors.

I did make some extra money this weekend as both Friday (at the Loo - thanks to a bunch of people drunk and on Xanax) and Saturday (at the Wedding - thanks to a bunch of people drunk and on the dancefloor) we went for extra time. The wedding was actually a lot of fun and went really well. We all had a blast. That included the 15 people in sailor hats doing the YMCA. It was that kind of night - not that I've ever had a night like that previously. Despite what you may think!

Tomorrow brings a day of working on all things dj - a trip to West Orange to check out catering hall and then working on my mixes for Sirius. Maybe a drink with Jack - maybe a night thinking - maybe I'll gear up for my hectic week.

Or maybe I won't


Thursday, January 12, 2006

Young Hearts Run - Like HELL!!

I read this article and was a bit disturbed. This might be worse than leaving the cake out in the rain.

Young Hearts

An exclusive first listen to my new Sirius Mixshow on Monday to the first person to tell me title and artist of that reference. Yes - thanks to James "Mr Freestyle" Anthony, I will have my own mix show on both The Beat (Ch 36) and Area33 (Ch 33).

I never posted my top 50 tracks of 2005 - Hopefully I'll do that on Monday.

I'll also talk to you about how much fun it is to spend 7 hours in the Psychiatric Emergency Room.